Social Distance 4th Birthday

I haven’t really known how to feel or what to say during the Corona Pandemic. It’s just pretty insane and hard to wrap your head around. It doesn’t even seem real. But it is real and it is very scary. I want to continue to do what I can control and that is document the daily chaos. I want to document this unique time where we are all adjusting to our new normal where we are all being quarantined to stay home, away from our loved ones, home school our children because schools and daycare’s are shut down, work from home which is possibly the hardest thing to do ever during this scary time in our lives and “slow down” from the normal we once knew. It’s happening fast and everything is changing daily (keeping up with cdc guidelines & 5 o’clock beer with beshear) and we are all just doing our best to adapt and be safe. We are all in this together. #teamkentucky #healthyathome

"When this is over, may we never again take for granted
A handshake with a stranger
Full shelves at the store
Conversations with neighbors
A crowded theater
Friday night out
The taste of communion
A routine checkup
The school rush each morning
Coffee with a friend
The stadium roaring
Each deep breath
A boring Tuesday
Life itself.

When this ends
may we find
that we have become
more like the people
we wanted to be
we were called to be
we hoped to be
and may we stay
that way — better
for each other
because of the worst."

Ben’s 4th Birthday was March 23. We had a party planned for at the house. It was March Madness (sadness) themed. We did our best to celebrate our big four year old. We drove around to friends and families houses and waved from the car and everyone sang. It was pretty cute and special. Definitely one we will remember! I did my best to celebrate him and entertain him all day long. (pretty much all month long) Birthdays should be a month long. I refer to JUNE as my month sometimes. I love having a Summer Birthday. Speaking of Summer…

For Better or For Worse

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SHUGGS

Alan and I have been dating/living together for 8 years

Married 4 years TODAY 

One PERFECT baby boy

One terrible annoying yet super cute lovable Jack Russell

We have experienced SO MUCH TRAGEDY together

Tragedy is actually what brought us together

We have had countless fights and some major blow outs over some really stupid shit

He can get on my last nerves sometimes  

Marriage is NOT easy

We have also experienced A LOT of amazing trips, started numerous traditions, and made some pretty awesome, unforgettable memories together

our marriage is so much stronger because of everything we have been through and endured- we have grown and learned so much with each other over the years of lifes ups and downs

& 

There is no one else in this fd up world I would rather be by my side

so

Thank you Alan Bryant for being my Best Friend, Baby Daddy and Shuggs 4 life. 

I had an entire blog post typed up that I have been adding onto for a few weeks now about my thoughts and feelings towards everything I/we have experienced lately and I decided to delete it and spare everyone all the details---mainly because I just can't right now---I don't have the words or energy to express myself the way I would like to--and so I am just not going to even go there-- but I do want people to know because it makes me really REALLY sad to know how common it is and how many other couples experience the same heartache we did and never share their "loss" because in reality I think you could really use all the love and support from your friends and family you can get when going through this. 

So..

Add miscarriage to the long list of other tragic life changing events Alan and I have been through recently...

When we got the news that there was "no heartbeat" I think my heart actually stopped beating.

I didn't stop crying that day. (august 13th, 2018)

Alan and I were both so devastated (and still are) We were so excited for our little family to be growing yet again.

I have been trying to keep busy since then but I am just not sure how much more sadness I can physically and emotionally handle. 

I feel like I just I keep getting knocked down in life--even though I keep getting up and moving forward--because I have no other option--I still just keep failing and getting disappointed. I don't know why and I don't know what I did to deserve all this. 

Put good things into the world and good things will happen right? 

However, This world can be really twisted sometimes and you are left with no answers a lot. 

&

All I know to do is to try & focus on the things that make me happy. 

Thank you for always being by my side Alan and supporting me and picking me up and making me smile when I don't even want to because I could never have gotten through any of this without you. I love you so much--and I am so grateful that I have you and Ben in my life. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SHUGGS---Can't wait to grow old with you :) 

What’s up Wednesday

What we’re eating this week...

Lots of salads. Juicy watermelon, a pork tenderloin, stuffed peppers & cabbage (from Alan’s parents garden) & grilled cheeses. You can never go wrong with grilled cheeses. They are my all-time favorite. 

ALSO--Rise Brewing Co. was so nice and sent me a variety pack of their nitro cold brew coffee. (btw this is not a paid ad) 

I was first attracted to their coffees because they are organic, non-GMO, non-dairy, and low acid. I love coffee but sometimes coffee doesn't love me. And I can't really go a day without drinking it. Being a mom to a wild and crazy toddler boy I need something to give my ass a boost and keep up with him. I really liked the Blood orange and Lemonade. They are very flavorful and different. They get better and better with each sip. Very smoooooooth. The black is pretty strong. But great for diet goers (which is not me) because it is sugar-free, dairy-free and 0 calories. I found that I liked them best poured over ice! :) Anyway..Go check them out. 

https://risebrewingco.com/

They also sell on Amazon Prime! 

What I’m reminiscing about...

Family Time...Alan and I used to host family get togethers A LOT - My entire family used to come and Alan’s family too. It was so much fun and I really just miss that time and making sweet memories especially now that Alan and I have Big Boy Ben. I understand that we all have our “own family’s” now but I just feel like we are so lucky to live in the same city as our parents and siblings but Ben doesn’t get to see his cousins and aunt’s and uncles enough. We need to make those family gatherings happen more often. #goalsforthesummer

What I’m loving...

I had several sessions over the past few weeks that were so perfect. I know it sounds so cheesy when people say they “love what they do” and by all means Photography is not my “full time job”...YET….However,  I hope that one day VERY soon I can make it be. But I literally get so involved in my shoots that each one makes me emotional. Being able to capture such special memories for these families to treasure and have for a lifetime makes me feel so happy and so proud-“I love my my part-time photography gig”. 

What we’ve been up to…

WELLL…..Alan bought a Pontoon Boat…if you don’t know this by now..My husband is a GO GETTER who constantly has to be doing something so he literally bought the boat one day---had it all fixed up, registered in his name and ready to go in the water the next day. Ha!  I am pretty excited about it. It is an older boat that he got an amazing deal on. (nothing real fancy---to all you haters out there who always have something to say and can’t just fucking be happy for people—always having to one up and judge others-UGH-I have a chip on my shoulder if you can’t tell ) But I am just looking forward to having something to do during the summertime and excited to make memories in the sun and on the water. 

What I’m dreading…

Starting a workout routine. (like seriously) I don’t even want to talk about---but it is a MUST.

My health is important to me and I must start making it a priority in my daily routine. I am a morning/workout at home girl so I am just going to start getting in the routine of waking up 45- an hour earlier and getting it done! What I won’t do..is stop eating pizza once a week.

What I’m working on…LETTING SHIT GO and thinking positive!

What I’m excited about… My Poppas Heavenly Birthday/ First Anniversary of his death. My dad passed away on his birthday July 13th. So we have decided to always celebrate his life on this day. This year we are going to Jeptha Creed Distillary and I am so excited to see all of his friends and students and everyone who loved him dearly. To say this past year has been hard is an understatement. So I am really looking forward to seeing and talking with everyone.

What I’m watching/reading: I’m not really watching anything-I hate summer for that reason.  Like I get it that it’s summer but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a good show to watch before bed still. SO any recommendations on Netflix series or anything please drop me a comment!!! Alan is watching this show called “Billions”--  I normally just edit photos or play on my phone while he watches it so I catch it in the background but I am not at all interested in it and that normally never happens when it comes to shows between us…we normally always like the same stuff.  It feels like it’s taking  him forever to get through three seasons too! Big Brother will be coming on soon though! We always look forward to that!  

What I’m listening to… Milky Chance Pandora Station

What I’m wearing…Let me just say that my creative mind is sometimes a curse. When I get a vision in my head…I will make myself crazy until it comes to life..EVEN when it comes to fashion and what I’m wearing.

So we went to a baseball game last week and I really wanted to wear a  jean skirt..LUCKILY we live right next to the Outlets… So I ran in American Eagle and got this adorable jean skirt that is perfect in so many ways for only $15! I was pumped! It’s the perfect length, stretchiness and everything else! I’m obsessed!  

https://www.ae.com/women-clearance-ae-high-waisted-festival-denim-skirt-blue/web/s-prod/0315_2093_400?cm=sUS-cUSD

What I’m looking forward to next month…VACATION

We are going to Florida and taking Gigi (my momma) with us. I just love that Alan and I made it a goal to take several vacations this year and are making them happen! It has been so nice to have something to look forward to. It is so healthy for your sanity! So if you are looking for a place to stay my brother and sister in law have this beautiful place in Sandestin Florida—3 bedroom , 3 bath--a quick golf cart ride to Baytowne Wharf!  SO NICE! Check out the link below!

http://www.russellvacationrentals.com/vacation-rental-home.asp?PageDataID=110762

What else is new…

I just want to go on a quick little rant reallllll quick like…

 Lets talk about people we don’t like for a minute

I don’t like people who…

Talk shit.

One up.

Only care about themselves.

Only talk to you when they want something or its convenient for them or when it's about them. 

Lie. Steal. Cheat. Manipulate.  

Who are hypocrites  

I  am A LOT of things. Far from perfect. But I have the biggest heart. I admit when I'm wrong and I always have good intentions. I never want to hurt my loved ones. I am loyal and supportive. I try my best to make others smile and laugh & not bring them down. I am extremely emotional and sensitive. 

I am 32 years old now. Married with a kid. Friendships should be nothing but REAL and GENUINE

SO..

If you are a FRIEND or FAMILY MEMBER of mine and you are a self absorbed, narcissistic turd….go ahead and just exit my life…because I do not have the energy or time for you anymore…

THE END.

Feel Good Friday

TGIF!! I am so thankful today is Friday and that I am feeling good today. I am off work & spending the day with my little man and Momma! This week I was a MOODY B-I-O-T-C-H..even on my birthday. I'll give everyone one guess why??? PMS--like can it just stop making me the devil for the love of god?? I am pretty much like the Devil though--BORN 6-6-86--in room #206 at 6:06PM!! LIKE WHOA! That has to have something to do with me being a cray cray Gemini right? Haha! So, anyway, I turned 32 Wednesday, nothing too special. Obviously, Birthdays are fun because you get to eat lots of cake and get presents but other than that at this point I'm just wishing I could get stay in my 30's forever. 

Alan and I celebrated as a family by going to Chicago Memorial Day weekend. It was literally a perfect weekend—even with all the crazy stuff that went on--------> We checked into our hotel and not even 30 minutes later we hear a big bang and Ben belt out a loud cry for momma dada….Alan and I just looked at each other—we knew exactly what had happened! Our hearts dropped and I did the classic Baldwin Buckle.. Ben had slammed his little bitty finger in the massive heavy shower door. I was literally shaking and crying so hard I couldn’t even look! We were just so scared and hoping and praying his finger was still attached. Luckily, it was. There was a nice chunk taken out. We put ice on it, cleaned it, and bandaged it all up, gave him Tylenol and he was asleep within minutes. He was due for a nap anyway—so we let him sleep—and we sat on the bed and stared at him and at each other while we talked about how dumb it was of us to not be watching him better and we did the worst thing you can do and googled everything. We weren’t sure whether we should take him and get it checked out..but after he woke up he was fine and so we decided not to. I made my calls to my nurse friends and today his finger is back to normal! I just NEVER want anything to ever happen to my baby boy. I cannot stand seeing him hurt. He is such a tough little guy and I understand these things are going to happen but still…as a parent you can’t stand to see your baby hurt or sick. It just breaks your heart. 

So…we continued our day and went to the North Avenue Beach—when we got back to the hotel I got Ben naked and ready to get in the shower with me and he saw the shower door and said..”no, momma, I get in with dada” so I said that’s ok buddy you can take a shower with Daddy…and I sent his naked little tushy out into the hotel room. Ten seconds later I hear NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BEN NOOO—OH MY GOD—MOMMA YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!

I immediately hop out of the shower---only to find a turd laying on the ottoman of our hotel.  Ben was looking out the window and told Alan "poo poo dada --and Ben has NEVER just pooped like that--so Alan said NO Ben..as he is recording outside the window all of this..we won't get our deposit back..and then there it went!! BAHAHAHAHA I mean if you don't think that is funny--lets not be friends. These are the memories I cannot wait to share and tell over and over when Ben gets older! 

(sorry swissotel)

hotels are so disgusting

Alan--scrubbed it clean--as he said that's what they get for dropping our bottle of wine. LOL 

The bellman had broken our bottle of wine bringing our luggage up to the room. Oops. We have visited Chicago 4 times now in 8 years together and Swissotel was our least favorite hotel so far.  

Chicago is so much fun though. It is such a quick little drive from Louisville and there is so much to see and do. It is NOT cheap though! My recommendation is to check flights and see if there are cheap flights and when you get there uber everywhere, ride the train, do whatever you have to do to avoid driving a car or parking a car anywhere. It is SO expensive. Just to park our car in the hotel garage overnight was $70 a night! 

Here is a list of our favorite things to do/eat in Chicago:

1. Go to the beach--it is so cool to be on the beach and to look back and see the city skyline! 

2.Eat Breakfast at Wildberry

3. Eat a deep dish pizza at Lou Malnati's is a MUST and obvy eat a chicago hot dog at Portillos

4. The skydeck is REALLY COOL--except--expect to wait like 3 hours 

5.Lincoln Park Zoo is cool and FREE. 

6. Go to Wrigleyville--watch a Cubs game 

7. Go to Millennium Park--see the (stupid =) BEAN and take pics like all the other tourist. (if you go in the winter--go ice skating) 

8. Go to a free concert at Millennium Park--It is so cute--you can pack your own booze and food and go have a picnic in the park and listen to music! 

9. Stay at the Radisson Blu & be sure to visit the rooftop pool :) 

10. Walk to Navy Pier--PACK TENNIS SHOES---do not try to look cute--it is a lot of walking! 

That is all for today. It is Catholic Church Picnic season--which is one of Alan's favorite things to do. ( I seriously just love him and his happy little self--thank god Ben got his all-time happy demeanor ) Hope everyone has a WONDERFUL weekend. 

<3 and good vibes, MB 

The Golden Boy

On October 21, 2013, My Brother Matt was diagnosed with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS or also known as Lou Gehrigs disease) at the age of 34 years old. I will never forget this day.  But most importantly what I want everyone else to do is what my mom has always taught me to do and "put myself in others shoes" Imagine Matt...leaving that hospital that day in Lexington, KY and riding back with his wife, mom, dad, and father and law. I am sure that hour or so car ride felt like the longest car ride of his life. How do you even process such information. He was just given a death sentence basically. Here is he is...happily married to his beautiful wife Christi and together they had Luke--a perfect mix of the both of them..the cutest little guy and Matt's dream..To have a little boy of his own to teach baseball to and Father. My mom told me that when the Doctors told Matt his diagnosis that day..of course there were MANY tears shed but that Matt said " I have been competitive my whole life and I am going to fight this disease." And he did. Matt fought ALS but not for long. From the time Matt was diagnosed until the time he passed seemed like a long time..of suffering.. but looking back now it all seemed like it happened entirely too fast! We lost our "Golden Boy" as my Grandma and Dad used to call him. :) 

We watched him slowly and painfully lose his mobility to walk, pick up a fork and feed himself or hold his own plate and fill it up on Thanksgivings..to holding his own child, to losing his ability to drive and work. Can you imagine giving up all of these privliages that each one of us take for granted every single day? It was so depressing to see my stong, muscular athletic brother deteriorate so quickly and need help going to the bathroom, shaving, brushing his teeth. I have never in my life ever witnessed a disease more depressing than ALS. 

Matt died May 20, 2016. 

May is ALS Awareness Month. 

This past Thursday, On, May 17th, our friend Carrey Dewey who also lived here in town passed away from ALS. 

I find it ironic that ALS brought Carrey and Matt and our families together and then we lost them both the month of May during the month that we are supposed to bring attention and awareness to this horrific disease. Both Matt and Carrey touched so many peoples lives in such a positive way. They both have left a huge footprint on this earth and our now our guardian angels in eternity. 

In conclusion, to this really shitty job of a post. I just can't think today....but I wanted so badly to do a tribute.  (sorry for the unprofessionalism)  I had a conversation with a friend last weekend about how you truly do not understand what ANYONE is going through until you have witnessed it. And not sure if that is a good thing or a bad. But...just try your best to always put yourself in other peoples shoes and....don't take your loved ones for granted. 

“Goodbyes make you think. They make you realize what you’ve lost, what you have and what you took for granted.”

"the wisest thing you can do is be present in the present gratefully"

Hi Friends!! I feel slightly embarrassed..bc if you have been following my blogs at all then you know I have been talking about my goals for wanting to blog weekly and/or stay tuned to hear more about this..and then I go MIA...for an entire whole MONTH! (almost exactly...tomorrow) 

But a lot has happened in a month though. Good and Bad. So, I guess I will just start by trying to catch you up to speed with my life. (no filter..as always) 

Most of you already know but I work at Enterprise Rent a Car (at the administrative office) part time. I have been with the company for 7 years now but after I had Ben I decided to go part time and pursue "mom life". In the meantime, My photography "hobby" took off and became a side business of its own for me and I could not be more grateful for the ones who have supported me and cheered me on throughout this journey. I cannot stress to anyone enough how important it has been for me to be PART TIME. I do not take my days off with Ben for granted one bit. I was destined to be a mom and I love that I have had the privilege of being able to stay at home with him and watch him grow and develop into the little guy that he is. He brings me so much joy.  He will NEVER know how much I love him and how much in a way he has "saved me". I have several friends or know of lots of women who are the opposite though. They LOVE their kids but they could never stay at home with them and would go crazy if they didn't have a career. Some women thrive in the work place and that's what they need to do for them to make them the best mom they can be.  Anyway, I struggled a lot this past month with feeling like a failure because I don't have a "career" and I don't ever plan on being a "working mom" (even though I wasted..yes kids I said wasted 5 years and thousands of dollars getting my Bachelors degree from the University of Louisville). But it just seems that in this day in age people are so much more judgey and opinionated than they used to be and it seems like ever since I became a mom everyone has strong opinions about how I should spend MY time.  Maybe people should just back the f*** off and want whatever is going to make  that person HAPPY! We are all so different and I just want to say that I support all the MOMS out there whether you are working full-time, part-time, whether you are a stay at home mom. I support you as long as..........at the end of the day....you are doing everything you can to be the best you and mother you can be to your children. On that note---today is probably like the THIRD time in over 2 years that I have sent Ben to the sitters house on a day off just so I could stay at home and take care of me and get some stuff done. When Alan told me he was going to send Ben to the sitters to help me out. I instantly started getting anxiety last night. Feeling the whole "mom guilt" which we all get. I still have it right now. But I think it is extremely important to force yourself to do things and make time for yourself. Right now, this is one of the biggest challenges for me. 

I have so much personal growth that NEEDS to happen. I am the type of person that if one thing goes wrong I start thinking of everything else that isn't going right in my life and it becomes a dreadful spiral for me. I dwell a lot and I am very negative. I can find something to bitch about always. (not someone you want to be around..right? Ha!) However, with all of this self love I need to happen...and like FAST..I am starting to realize that I have to stop always trying to be such a multi-tasker and I need to learn to take one thing at a time. It drives Alan crazy. I just want my life back. I know I talk about my dad and brother a lot..and I'm sure people are probably just like...SKIP..SWIPE..over it type of thing and I get that. (not that I don't think people don't care--but it just becomes repetitive and the same ol sad shit for others) But seriously ever since my Dad died...my whole life got fucked. The pressure, stress and depression has been non-stop and I just want my life to get back to "normal". This journey has felt so overwhelming. It feels impossibly long and difficult and painful and there have been so many days where it has seemed easier to just give up and I have. I don't think that I am really getting any better--but I know that recently I hit some all time lows and told Alan that I have to do something about this. So I think that I am going to start by taking ONE DAY AT A TIME and stop comparing my life to others. Its just hard..we are in 2018 and social media makes shit crazy..and sometimes unrealistic these days...meaning people only share the good most of the time--which hey I get it--I am not going to announce to everyone when Alan and I have an argument or post a picture of me having a mental breakdown. But I also have been really hurt and disappointed by A LOT of people close to me over the past year and it is taking me a lot longer than I'd like to move on from. Going back to my mantra for this year, CHOOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE YOU! 

"THE SECRET OF CHANGE IS TO FOCUS ALL OF YOUR ENERGY, NOT O FIGHTING THE OLD, BUT ON BUILDING THE NEW"

WHEW! That was a lot! LOL

Some positive/good things that happened since my last post...is that it officially feels like SUMMER in Louisville..and we have spent every single day catching rays outside! (except of course as usual Derby day it shit stormed here) We have already hit up festivals, splash parks, the zoo, dragged our red neck pool out and bought a sprinkler for Ben! SUMMA LOVIN!! :) One of my besties (the one I went to Denver to celebrate) had a SURPRISE WEDDING. It was perfect and so sweet and special. Celebrated Mothers Day with my cute little Momma! And so much more! 

My next post will be Sunday 5-20-18 and it will be dedicated to my brother Matt.  It will be the anniversary of the day he left us and May happens to be ALS Awareness month so I want to share somethings with everyone! 

Other than that--Glad I got a lot off my chest today and caught you up to speed on what we have been up to lately. I truly enjoy blogging and can't wait to look back on this one day! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and stays dry. 

<3 and good vibes, MB

What we've been up to

I should be detoxing after my trip to Denver. Alan texted me on the way home and said "Momma u probably gained 20 lbs based on the amount you spent on food!" LOL He's right.. So I can't even be mad at him. Haha! Except I came home to no groceries...Alan could survive on beans and rice and I clearly cannot. So Monday night we had Salmon. We LOVE the prepackaged foil bags you get from Kroger. It's so easy... You just pop them in the oven and boom. Ready to eat. (see pic below.. We always get the California Garlic) Yesterday we ordered Mark's to go and I didn't realize how much I missed it. I got a pulled pork sandwich and it hit the spot. Yummmmy as Ben would say. 😀

My trip to Denver.

It was really nice to be with good company in another state just escaping reality for a few days... However, I really really missed my babes. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. ♥️ Our quotes were: "Denver is sooooooo cute" & "it's the altitude" we blamed everything on the Altitude and obviously I can't forget about "Todddddddd" we laughed a lot, cried, drank, ate and walked A LOT of freaking stairs! 😂😂 We went ziplining in Idaho Springs and I survived. I didn't shit or piss my pants while ziplining and I had a blast while doing it. I felt so adventurous. Here are a few pics from our trip. 

Coors light Brewery was sooooooo cool. So cool that you get 3 free beers at the end of the tour and the tour is free too!! And no guide. It's all at your own pace. 

Cheers to that Rocky Mountain water and free Champs 🥂

These tiny little booties from Bird Rock baby booties I got for baby George! Seriously though how cute are these??!! Since it's snowing every other day here in Louisville I thought he might need them to keep his little piggys warm. They are soooo soft and they have so many colors too. Here is their link if you have a squishy nugget that you are looking for a gift for: https://birdrockbaby.com/collections/baby-booties

My bestie Erin came in town a few weeks ago and I finally got to meet sweet baby George. He is so stinking cute and I got all the feels that you get when you are ready for another baby (if you ever get that feeling) ha! 

The anniversary of Matt. 5/20

As much as I'm looking forward to Summer.. I hate anniversaries of losing a loved one. It's just so sad for me. I always think about them and celebrate their life so I don't need a day to remember losing them. 

A special MINI SESSION sale I have planned to advertise. Keep your eyes peeled on my social media pages for more. 

MB Photography is about to go HAM... (I can't believe I just typed that up and am going to leave it right there)  

MB Photography and growing my business.

It's hard for me to get motivated sometimes. With everything that's been going on in our lives lately... I have been suffering from a lot of mental health issues. Being emotionally unstable sucks and I'm ready to get back to my normal self sooner than later. I absolutely love photography and it is my true passion. I get excited thinking about the possibilities that seem endless with this "hobby" of mine. After our trip I realized that I want more than ever to be able to grow my own business and by doing so I am going to start really focusing on the things that make me happy and how I can successfully do what I love and love what I do. It's important to me and my well-being. Being a mom is the greatest gift I have been given and family is priority to me so being a mom and having flexibility is the most important thing in my life right now. 

Well currently I am watching Sesame Street on Hulu.. But other than that... I'm looking forward to Homeland and Blacklist this week. (it does come on this week right?) 

I have been LITERALLY LIVING in my fabletics yoga pants. Please do yourself a favor and order the exact same ones I did. You will thank me later. (see previous blog posts for exactly what I bought) I also bought these amazingly comfy and cute jeggings from Old Navy that I am obsessed with. And can I just say living 2 seconds away from the Outlets is really starting to affect my bank account. My newest favorite store is saks off 5th. I just bought the cutest pink pumas 😍

https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=134716002&CAWELAID=120299900000752382&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=44594474594&CATCI=aud-372956340438:pla-298923448259&tid=onpl000000&kwid=1&ap=7&gclid=Cj0KCQjw_ODWBRCTARIsAE2_EvWkuXX2eZxG82w7fqMWhxc7vzwQLP313a29OyDKVkQokMdwG2CbA38aAkLfEALw_wcB

It's Thunder over Louisville this weekend and as much as I truly hate shit like this because all it does is bring people out of the woodworks in this city... Ben is obsessed with thunder in general. He loves thunder by imagine dragons about 10 times a day to be exact. He also loves airplanes and baseball. So I am suggesting that we go to the Riverbat's game and watch it there. We as in I can't make it to the fireworks and could honestly care less so we will probably be asleep by then or watching from home. 

Thurby, Oaks and the Kentucky Derby. I love everything about Derby and this city this time of the year. Hoping to bet on some ponies and Ben bringing us some good luck this year. Go baby go! 

Not much really. Which is exactly the way I like it. Obvy there is plenty of things that we need to do in life in general and we do keep crossing off things on our list but other than house updates and decorating..and patiently waiting around for warm days. Ben and Eddie are not OK with staying inside all day everyday.. And neither am I. 

Also my husband is crazy but so cute. He loves his grass/yard so much and takes so much pride in it that it makes me giddy. While I was out of town he bought a new toy...a riding lawnmower... I swear Ben has asked me 50 times a day since I got home.. "ride tractor momma" he also made me go to the Shelby County Cooperative Extension Office to get him a soil sample bag and a probe 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 so the UK students can test our soil and tell us why our grass won't grow in the back. He is so precious. 

At our new favorite spot-Blackacre 

That's all for now. Im hoping to share soo many pics soon that I think you all will enjoy. Until then..love and good vibes, MB 

What's up Wednesday

What we're eating this week?

Chicken, Mushrooms, Gorgonzola Bake :P

Broccoli salad--i'm not broccolis biggest fan either-but trust me--its so good! 

Along with some leftover hard boiled eggs

I bought this seasoning from Sams Club over the weekend and shamefully I am NOT the head chef in the house. So to prepare for dinner on Monday night I literally just unthawed some chicken and then LATHERED it up with our new seasoning (seriously all I did--so sorry Alan) Of course, when Alan got home he magically turned it into something so TASTY! He added butter, mushrooms, knuckle of garlic, and Gorgonzola. It was so flavorful that my mouth is actually watering for it right now as I type this. We get so sick of the same boring meals over and over each week so we have been trying to spice it up here lately by just trying to recreate dishes that we love from Restaurants and basically just mixing and adding all the ingredients we love and have at the moment together.  

Here is the recipe for the Broccoli Salad Recipe. It's super easy and so delicious.  

• large head broccoli, cut into florets
• 1 small red onion, chopped
• 12 slices cooked bacon, crumbled
• 1 cup raisins (I used craisins because thats all we had) 
• 1/4 cup sunflower seeds (I think I put a tad too many)

• Dressing:
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise 
• 1/3 cup white sugar
• 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar--We didn't have any red wine vinegar so I used apple cider vinegar, sugar and I of course had red table wine so I just added a little bit of that and BOOM! *red wine vinegar* Thanks Momma B for the tip 

1. Combine broccoli, onion, bacon, raisins, and sunflower seeds in a bowl.
2. Whisk mayonnaise, sugar, and red wine vinegar together in a bowl until dressing is smooth; pour over broccoli mixture and stir to coat.

What I'm reminiscing about:

This weekend! Bens Birthday Party & Easter festivities kept us pretty busy this weekend. Loved spending time with our family and friends. (more on the theme of Ben's party and my cricut skills later ;) 

What I'm loving:

My new bookshelves transformation. When my dad passed away, my mom had to downsize so we had lots of furniture that we needed to find a new home. I can always see furniture and things in different ways then Alan sees them so he's not always fully supportive of my projects but I think we are both pretty happy about this one.           

BEFORE.... 

AFTER! 

What we've been up to:

Home Projects! Lots of them. We just recently had our bedroom and master bath painted and I have been STRUGGLING to decorate. Alan and I always say that we could never build a home together and I think that is so true. We both are the most INDECISIVE people ever.. So I don't think either of us absolutely LOVE the paint color we picked out but they are both very pretty colors. I will figure it out here soon..it's just taking me awhile to find my vision. Alan is fixing our deck too. (and we ordered a new sectional for our patio... I'll save the details about that for another post) And our yard. We seriously need a week dedicated to the house! 

What I'm Dreading:

Anymore cold weather!

What I'm working on:

Myself and growing my photography business. I have been really trying to focus on me but it's not always the easiest thing for me to do. Except it's just really important that I do so for my own sanity right now.  


What I'm excited about:

My upcoming girls trip to Denver. My bestie from High School is getting hitched and a group of us are going to celebrate in Denver, Colorado. I'm looking forward to it but I know I will miss my munchies. This will be a milestone for this Mama. First overnight without my baby. 

What I'm Watching/Reading:

The Four Agreements-I listened to the audio awhile back but I needed to see it and read it in my life again so I could screenshot it and have little notes. It's so easy. I bought it for like $5 on Google play. I love technology and the convenience it has sometimes. 

Quick little post today. I really am trying to blog more! #justdoit 

Love and good vibes ONLY, MB  

Throwback Thursday

Ya’ll (i don't think i actually ever say "ya'll in real life) 

I have NO excuses for not blogging as frequently as I would like.

So I’m not even going to make any..

However, I have SO much I want to share with everyone that I honestly don’t know where to begin. I don’t think I can share it all in one post--But..My new goal is going to be: to blog once a week! I feel like if I don't set that small/very doable goal it won't happen. I would actually love to blog daily and I easily have enough worth writing about but I just don't think that can realistically happen.

First of all…..WE HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD NOW!! 

Let’s just start there.

Ben officially turned 2 on March 23 (the day his daddy left for a Bachelor party..HA) so we will be celebrating this weekend!

Benjamin Clayton Bryant is my biggest accomplishment in life to date. Becoming his momma was the greatest thing that could have ever happened in my life. He couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for our family. God knew we needed him and I will forever be grateful for the timing of his birth. (however being born at 9:50PM caused me to not get any good hospital grub by the time I got to recovery-so I pretty much starved..lol)

I am so thankful for everyday with Ben and the way he constantly reminds me to just let it all go and enjoy what’s right in front of me—the unplanned, ordinary, present moments.  He is such a happy little guy 98.9% of the time and every day with him gets better and better. Of course, its extremely challenging at times as a parent you want to scream when you literally cannot get a SECOND to yourself. I went a week straight where I felt like I didn’t get to go to the bathroom or shower alone which is really just not cool in so many ways.  I love my baby (toddler) to death but I at least would like to wash my hair without having someone trying to shove a plastic finger puppet horse up my ass. (sorry not sorry if you think that was sharing a little too much. Lol) But I know that is just part of the journey. The emotional connection I feel towards Ben brings me so much joy and happiness along with the constant inevitable worry and concern. Cheers to two years of Big Boy Ben and all the laughter, tears, and sleepless nights you have already brought to our lives. You have the brightest blonde hair, cutest face I've ever seen, sweetest smile and voice I have ever heard and I don't think I could love you any more than I already do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Second of all……WE ALSO HAVE A TWEEN NOW!!! MASON (my oldest nephew, the first grandkid on the Baldwin side)

I can’t believe he is 10 today!! He also came at a special time in our families lives.

The cycle of life is so interesting sometimes. We buried my Grandma  (my dad’s mom) the day Mase was born.

It makes me sad that I feel like I blinked my eyes and Mason was in school and having slumber parties. He is already too cool for his Aunt B’s smooches. His interests include: sports, video games, trendy clothes/socks & shoes, his  tablet, computer & TV (technology-he gets it honest)

Next it will be girls and then he really won’t want to slumber at aunt Bs anymore :( 

Let them run wild and stay little forever! 

Look how cute and excited my brother was. 

Check back for more tomorrow! Love and good vibes, MB 

Feel Good Friday

Hi FRIENDS! I truly have missed this space so much! 

I realize my social media life has been a little MIA lately but I just feel like we've had SO MUCH going on these past few weeks and by the time I get any free time to myself I rather just close my eyes.  Not workout, not browse the net and shop or stalk. But freaking sleep. I feel like such a lazy fat fuck bc that's what I choose to do in my free time but I feel sleep deprived as it is and it doesn't help that Ben sleeps with us more than 50% of the time. (he's a bed monster-and most of the time I don't mind the snuggles but when I end up with a foot in my face that shits not cool.) but seriously though..I just have needed ME time so desperately and I feel like a crazy person because I don't even allow myself to have ANY time alone. I struggle with mom guilt A LOT. Ben makes me so incredibly happy that I can barely stand to be away from him. He will be two years old a week from today (OMG) and I have yet to spend one SINGLE night without him. Take last weekend for example, I took photos  of other two year olds and being around them made me miss him so much that I couldn't wait to get home and love on my munchkin. Which is crazy. Like girl. Go shopping. Get a mani or the massage you've had a gift card for since September. (btw thank you lil witt--I can't wait to use it) Go treat yoself. Take time out to make mb happy. Why is that so hard for me to do? Bc I am a crazy mom who suffers from #momguilt

I have A LOT I want to accomplish this weekend so I don't think I will be getting much ME time for awhile. And then next week is about to be crazy and then the weekend after that we will be having a BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY for my baby boy at our house. So NOPE....no me time in my future. LOL. Its OK though. 

Ben and Margot were both born on March 23, 2016 directly across the hall from one another. Will and I have been friends since middle school and I am so incredibly happy that he married one of the coolest chicks I know. Madison is amazing and so are their babies! Cannot wait for Ben to have so many forced friendships. PEGGGGGGGSSSSSS! :) 

We went to the St. Pattys Day Parade last weekend. My nephew Colin had a blast and got a lot of beads (Spring Break PCB) Anyway, We got there a little late and were NOT on everyones level. LOL. It was just a tad too cold for me. Also, why don't they have it on actual st.patty day weekend?? Oh well. Lots of randomness and green beer! :) Hope everyone wears green tomorrow! 

UPDATE--I finally decided to become a VIP member at Fabletics and I received them in the mail the other day!! Obsesssed! It was EXACTLY what I was wanting and looking for in my yoga pants! High waisted--7/8 length--POWERHOLD--SO SOFT--such great quality and I ordered the solid ones for now but they have so many options that I can't wait to try more! 

So if you've been wanting to try them out yourself--use my referral code below and hook a sista up! They are so AFFORDABLE. 

https://www.fabletics.com/invite/130710596/

Random pics of Ben I love and wanted to share! 

Ben and Alan have been making smoothies together. 

AMMMAAZZING pizza from Butchertown Pizza Hall! Go check em out! ( I LOVE GOAT CHEESE--i put that shit on everything) 

I am so thankful Nicole and Eric asked me to take their SWEETEST new addition to their family-- DELIAHS newborn pictures. She decided to come on Nicoles Birthday!! How special is that?? Nicole is literally the sweetest, most beautiful girl inside and out. And Eric is so nice and handsome! Deliah you are going to move mountains one day. I am sure of it. Nicole and I have also been friends for FOREVERRRRRRRRRRR like shes rode in the back of my familys old station wagon type way back. LOL. But I feel so honored to be able to capture such special moments for people that I have known for so long and care about. Love watching them grow and create memories with their family! 

Hope everyone has a good Friday! I have SOOO much more I want to share with everyone so keep checking back! <3 and good vibes, MB 

Streamers

Happy Monday Friends.

Mondays are for fresh starts and I am looking forward to this week. We had an amazing weekend and Ben was a little Angel Boy 😇 Seriously. Sooooooo thankful he is feeling better finally!!

Friday night,  Ben and I shared some Chocolate chip ice cream bc we felt like it was warm enough outside to eat ice cream and not feel guilty about it.

We all know where he gets his sweet tooth from.

We also ran out to Walgreens to get Dada some medicine and I recognized this woman from a Facebook post from earlier that day. It was Carrey Deweys sister Elizabeth. I introduced myself as Matt Baldwins sister. Carrey and Matt were both diagnosed with ALS around the same time here in Louisville. They are both young with close loving families and children who they will leave behind. ALS is so incredibly devastating and unless you are seeing it first than then you cannot imagine how hard and depressing it is for everyone involved. I am so glad I crossed paths with Elizabeth. We unfortunately have a very heartbreaking thing in common that connects us but I am so glad that we did. I remember the day after I found out about Matt I just texted him and the rest of my family saying.. 'I just wanted us all to live under the same roof and be together' I knew our time was limited together.. And I just could not imagine our life without Matt. (and now my dad and Nancy.) More than half of my family is gone and it's been so sad and hard for everyone left. Carreys sister, Elizabeth bought the house next door to Carrey so they could be there throughout this time in their lives and I could not be more proud of them. What an amazing family they are and I just want them to know that I think about them almost everyday and I am so amazed at the strength Carrey really does have even though she may not feel like it. By sharing her story with the world she has made awareness to the disease and let others into the reality of ALS. I pray for you and your family. Love and hugs! And sorry Elizabeth if I was socially awkward or rude  when I blurted just out in Walgreens  'how old are you' lol. But either way you look young and beautiful and I hope we can grab coffee or a cocktail and chat sometime!! 

This is Carrey Dewey. I have never met Carrey personally but all I can do is tell you that she is truly an inspiration and a such a strong, beautiful mother. 

Saturday night we hung out with our friends Jeff and Jean and got to see their new house and give Big boy Thomas his birthday gift. On the way home... We had to drive through some crazy fn floods and it was no joke. The crazy thing is we were literally only like two minutes away from our house when we approached high waters. Alan looked at me and said no way you are going through that. But there was a guy @ 11:30 pm standing out there with a flash light looking like the man in the yellow hat from curious George directing us through. He said just drive slowly. I pretty much closed my eyes and prayed to God we made it it through. And we did thank goodness. 

Me & Boone #goldenboy 

This happened this weekend!! Big boy Ben transition. Woot woot.. Bc he is climbing out of his crib!! 

We went to Chucke Cheese and Ben had a blast.. So did Alan! He took Ben's card and used it to go play Skee Ball! Lol. Ridic. And Ben rode almost everything in there you could possibly ride. Thanks Katie and Patrick for a fun Sat morning. 

Love this pic!! Haha! 

Happy 2nd Birthday Miles!!! You are so cute!! 

I also had my newborn shoot with the sweet two week old Delilah Nicole. OMG. She was such a doll baby. And I just wanted to photograph her all day!!! I learned a lot from the shoot. I am just so grateful for all of my customers and their support throughout this journey. 

OK,  now on to streaming. Sorry for the really long post but I wanted to share with everyone how and what we did to become streamers. We've been wanting to do it for awhile but finally pulled the plug a few months ago. So far we are loving it! So we cancelled our cable with Spectrum and just have the internet through them. I know I hate them as much as everyone else does but you have to have the internet to stream and there are limited options out there so Spectrum has one of the best & fastest so we kept our internet through them. We then bought a Roku Express for every. single.  TV. in our house. They are 29.99 and obviously a one time fee. There are other roku remotes that have other features on them like... You can turn up the volume with the roku remote as well and not have to use your actual TV remote. With the express you have to use your TV remote to control the volume but we were OK with that. The roku is SUPER easy to setup and get started for anyone worried about that! After you purchase your roku there are lots of options after that as well.. Such as Hulu TV, YouTube TV, sling TV, and many more. We first tried Hulu TV which was I think $40 a month and we got tons of channels including sports, news and Hulu exclusives. But we kept buffering a lot which really pissed me off during the half time of the superbowl. So we did some research and then switched over to YouTube TV. That is also the glory of streaming. You can cancel your memberships easily online and you don't have to deal with an annoying person. Once we started using YouTube TV we haven't buffered once and are completely satisfied and saving over a hundred dollars a month now on our cable bill. 

The things we like about so far is.. It has an easy interface with a cable like guide that shows live shows playing and also upcoming programs. An unlimited DVR storage. $35 month. Roughly 50 channels including the 4 local networks like ABC,CBS,NBC,FOX. We can create up to 6 accounts to tailor to their own viewing habits.

So do yourself a favor and become streamers like us. I don't think you will regret the change. It really only takes a week to get used to. Just like a new phone or something. #streamers #happymonday 

 <3 and good vibes, MB

What's Up Wednesday

1: WHAT WE’RE EATING THIS WEEK:

We are eating lots of chicken & ceaser salads, olives & my famous artichoke spinach dip (that I never get sick of)

Thank you Susan for my new addiction

See the recipe I follow below:

1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese softened

1/4 cup mayonnaise

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

 1/4 cup grated Romano cheese

1 clove garlic, peeled and minced

1/2 teaspoon dried basil

1/4 teaspoon garlic salt salt and pepper to taste

1 (14 ounce) can artichoke hearts, drained and chopped

 1/2 fresh spinach

 1/4 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

Directions

• Prep 15 m

• Cook 25 m

• Ready In 40 m

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a small baking dish.
2. In a medium bowl, mix together cream cheese, mayonnaise, Parmesan cheese, Romano cheese, garlic, basil, garlic salt, salt and pepper. Gently stir in artichoke hearts and spinach.
3. Transfer the mixture to the prepared baking dish. Top with mozzarella cheese. Bake in the preheated oven 25 minutes, until bubbly and lightly browned.

2. WHAT I’M REMINISCING ABOUT:

I went to my nieces cheer competition this week and it really brought me back to the good ol days. I used to love to learning to tumble at Power Cheer and practicing there. My dad's baseball facility was directly next door to PC so I used to spend many hours at open gym practicing. I love that Madelyn is so dedicated and determined to learn and do her best. She is such a little go getter! 

#BTMS #cheerlife 

3: WHAT I’M LOVING:

Essential Oils!! I finally joined the bandwagon and went out and bought a diffuser. So far we have only been using the peppermint and lavendar. We need to breath and wosaaahhhhhh at the Bryant household! lol. I bought my diffuser from TJMaxx for $10 cheaper than at Target so be sure to check out TJ's, homegoods or Marshalls because they all have a lot of them! 

4: WHAT WE’VE BEEN UP TO:

I have been painting some old bookshelves from my parents house. I am hoping and praying they turn out good just so that Alan will start supporting all my wild ideas! 

Here is the before pic....stay tuned....

5: WHAT I’M DREADING:

THE TERRIBLE TWOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

OMG YOU ALL! 

This weekend was INSANE- Ben acted so ridiculous on Sunday evening that we had no idea what was going on! He wasn't himself and he was crying non stop and throwing himself down on the ground and having a full on melt down over EVERYTHING. We couldn't do anything right and honestly we were kind of scared. He had been on antibiotics for an ear infection and the doctor told us he had some canines coming in so I wasn't sure if he was acting like that because he was hurting or what but all I know was that he wasn't acting like his normal happy go lucky self.  So we took him to the doctor on Monday--pleading for advice--in a way I was hoping he wasn't getting the right meds or something (only to explain/excuse this behavior) but nope---the doc said he was reacting to the antibiotics perfectly and that everything looked great....( THANK GOD )....butttttttt that this was just our new kid---that we needed to show him some "tough love"!! So we went home put a lock on the pantry door to prevent him from climbing the shelves and helping himself to whatever he wants---& to just  throw it on the floor basically. We are transforming his crib into a toddler bed, he is getting his own "big kid" table for his birthday so he can eat like a big boy now (hoping that helps with the eating situation) and when the tantrums occur we have been ignoring him. (it seems to be helping) All I know is I don't want a terrible two toddler. I just want my sweet, happy little guy back. I feel so ridiculous and naive for not seeing this phase coming! Guess we will continue to not eat out as a family, or go to the grocery.... & the list goes on. Cheers to parenting! 

ya'll this is real life---sleeping on the floor in our bedroom!! The doctor said he was proud of us! lol 

6: WHAT I’M WORKING ON:

Learning to not try and DO IT ALL. I always overwhelm myself by trying to do too much and then nothing gets done or accomplished and its a never ending vicious cycle. So I am trying to learn to focus on small lists and crossing them off and knowing that it is ENOUGH. I get so frustrated and down on myself when I don't get shit done that I want to. Sometimes its on me and I actually have the time but just DON'T do it for whatever reason and then other times I either get interrupted by Ben or not to mention my memory is shot---sometimes I just straight up FORGET! like WTH--it was on my mind all day--how did I forget to call and make an appointment?! beats me! 

7: WHAT I’M EXCITED ABOUT:

I'm excited about this warmer weather coming!!! Being able to get outside and get some fresh air these past few days has been aaaamaazzing. I feel like it puts everyone in a better mood. As a matter of fact January and February are pretty pointless and depressing and I could do without! LOL (Alan, I am ready to move to a warmer climate whenever you are babe) 

8: WHAT I’M WATCHING/READING:

We just switched from Hulu TV to Youtube TV over the weekend and so now we are trying to catch up on all of our showtime shows so we are watching:  the Olympics, Big Brother Celebrity, Homeland , and Shameless! 

BTW--I had so many people reach out to me about streaming after my last blog post and Alan's fb post that I plan on doing another one--kind of breaking everything down for everyone about the route we took! :) 

9: WHAT I’M LISTENING TO:

Damien Rice & Ray Lamontagne <3 <3

10: WHAT I’M WEARING:

Ugh--can I just skip this one? I feel like I have no clothes for some reason---I plan on doing a serious purge in my closet this weekend and then we will see what all I really need but I feel like a Nordstrom Rack trip is going to be happening very soon. Actually, I am looking for some High-waisted yoga pants that I can lounge around in & (occasionally workout in..HAHA) My friend told me that Fabletics have a lot of high waisted ones so I am going to look into ordering some today! 

11: WHAT I’M DOING THIS WEEKEND:

We are going to a birthday party and tackling some things around the house. I also have a newborn shoot that I am looking forward to. I just LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE wittle new babies!! 

12: WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO NEXT MONTH:

Ben's 2nd Birthday & Party!!! 

Like how was this 2 years ago? I swear I know I am not alone when I say I cannot believe how fast time flies. Especially when you are this little cuties momma <3 biggest accomplishment yet! 

13: WHAT ELSE IS NEW:

I am looking to do a race in memory of my Dad and Matt at Churchill Downs this Spring. I still haven't emailed my contact at Churchill to get all the details but I am hoping we can do this and have a great turnout. I will keep everyone posted. They both loved horse racing and betting on the ponies so I thought it would be a nice way to honor them and bring everyone together. 

That's it for today. Thanks for stopping by! <3 and good vibes, MB

Love never fails

Happy Valentines Day. These guys have my heart today and everyday. 

My Forever Valentines   💕

My sister in law texted me a picture of a note my nephew wrote today and I could not be proud of this little guy and his momma. You are both so strong and determined to be great. Matt is with you always little guy. & If you have hate in your heart. Let that shit go. Life is too short. Take lessons from Luke Baldwin. 😇 #alssucks #cancersucks #baldwinstrong 

I wanted my mom to feel extra loved and special today. So per usual, my dad would always (wait until the last minute) get my mom flowers, perfume or jewelry on Valentines Day. So I ran in to Two Chicks & Co really quick and got her some earrings and myself a free bracelet and stopped by her crazy classroom and surprised her.  If you are looking for a last minute gift today all their jewelry is 50% off and you get a free stretchy bracelet with a purchase. I loveee this store! 

Rainboots are Ralph Lauren (aren't they so cute!) 

Love you mum. 

Also, my beautiful bestie gets to bring little George home today. Best Valentines day ever. Cannot wait to meet him. I am already thinking of all the shenanigans George and Benjamin are going to be getting in!! Trinity what!!?? Lol. (inside joke) 

Anyway, that's all for today. Now go spread some love today. #loveneverfails  

<3 and good vibes, MB

Fat Tuesday

Happy Fat Tuesday!! I love everything to do with this holiday/celebration. One time I even tried to make my own kings cake. I wasnt sure if I was supposed to put a plastic baby in the oven or not. Turns out you can! Lol. Not sure how many chemicals that exposed everyone to but it was a great attempt and we had a lot of fun making it. However my cake did not taste nearly as good as Heitzman Bakery. Sooo good. My cute little mother in law is such a good cook and host. Every year she has us over for homemade gumbo and jambalaya and I look forward to it!! I'm not a huge rice fan so I like to do a lot of the dishes without rice or with very little. If you are wanting some yummy spicy food. Go to J Gumbo and try the Drunken Chicken. I promise you will love it. And Kroger is selling Heitzmans Kings cake so go surprise your loved one with dinner and dessert. 

 <3 and good vibes, MB  

Friday Favorites

Happy National Pizza Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I have been cravingggg pizza all week...but I stayed strong and held off so we could celebrate tonight by getting our favorite pie and watching the opening ceremony of the winter Olympics. & part 3 of Big Brother Celebrity (which has been surprisingly good) I can't think of a better Friday night actually! (whyamisobig) 

Big Boy Ben LOVES pizza! #hegetsitfromhismomma

I wanted to share with everyone our fav pies around town--(in no order) 

• JT's pizza and subs (it's in Simpsonville..so if you are ever at the Outlets and needing some Grub--get you some--you can thank me later) 
• Coals Artisan Pizza-- we love the Portland :)
• Hometown--the only pizza we get from hometown is the thin crust buffalo chicken--its pretty delish
• Bearnos--just always a good go to pizza in town but it def has its off days
• if only they were here in town my favvvvvvvvvvvv pie is from--Lou Malnati's Pizzeria--I have really been having withdrawals from Chicago. I absolutely love the city and cannot wait for warmer weather so we can take munchies to the windy city! 

Please drop me some comments below and let me (a) know if anyone is actually reading (b)  know your fav places for pizza around town. 

Next week is Valentines day---and I am feeling the LOVE.  These two guys have my heart <3

I follow a ton of child photographers constantly looking to grow and network and get inspired.  I recently discovered littlefarmphotography on Instagram and in 2016 she created the Paper Heart Project which is a campaign that spreads awareness about Congenital Heart Defects.  Her little guy is 4 years old and was born with 10 different congenital heart defects.  He has undergone 3 open heart surgeries, 1 intestinal surgery and 75 other procedures that include sedated MRIs, Heart Caths, x-rays and Eco’s! This broke my heart as I cannot imagine the journey this poor baby and his family has been on along with the many other families with this same diagnosis.  Ben and I wanted to show our support by participating in the #paperheartproject.  So here are a few of our pics from today. 

We hope everyone has an awesome weekend! <3 and good vibes, MB 

Throwback Thursday

Hi Friends! Ben and I stayed home sick today. As a matter of fact I haven't been able to breathe out of my nose for about three days now..but that did NOT stop me from smelling the steaming hot turds Ben just laid in his diaper.  He even said "peeeewwww Mama" Thats when you know it's really bad. Haha! Anyway,  I took Ben to the pediatrician on Monday and they said he just had a little cold and that he would probably peak around Wednesday or Thursday and by the weekend he should start feeling better.  I woke up yesterday morning and felt like I had been hit by a bus.  I went to the immediate care center and they tested for the flu (thank goodness that came back negative) but they said I had a head cold that turned into a sinus infection. I went home with a Z pack and some steroids. Thank you Ohio River Valley. I can always depend on you to make my allergies or sinusitis attack at any given moment. Ben was up all night due to coughing so I decided to keep him home with me even though I did not feel like momming at all day today. His pediatrician said he was obviously safe to go to his sitters this week but with all the sickness going around I figured if I could avoid sending him this week I should. He has had a nasty snotty nose all day along with a rough little cough. I just hate when my little babe isn't feeling good. Also if you haven't tried Zarbees...It's aaaammazing. I personally like it for myself even.  and what is it about whenever anyone is sick with ANYTHING they want sprite or ginger ale. 

Ok, now on to my favorites...We're going to throw it way back this Thursday. I have said this over and over but I am so grateful for all of these family memories that were captured. I will cherish them forever. Expect to see a lot of great photos from my past on my blog...because I love them! 

Stay Strong ----Tomorrow is Friyay! <3 and good vibes, MB 

Friday Favorites

Happy Friday Friends! I am pretty excited that we have NO plans for the weekend! I love it when that happens. Alan, however, doesn't! He loves to constantly be on the go. I am a home body. I like to hibernate in the winters...as long as I have food and wine! :) 

Now on to a few of my favorite things lately..

one || JT--MAN OF THE WOODS dropped today...and I could not be more obsessed with this man. He is def my pick for a celeb hall pass ;) The album gets 5 ***** from me and it will be on repeat all day long. Also can't wait until we get to see him perform at the Superbowl on Sunday. No nip slips this time though. hahahahaha. 

two || MY NEW WHIP!! I upgraded from my Altima to a cool mom car--a Murano! It is so nice and I just want to drive somewhere in it and listen to JT's new album today!! 

three || my new husky liner mats to go in my murano.  I bought the weather tech mats for Alan when he bought his truck and we love them. They are so easy to clean. You can just take them out and hose them down. Especially with a kid who throws his milk, cheerios and crackers all over your back seat...I def need them. Who want to smell spoiled milk?  So glad my shuggs bought these for me! Love ya babe! 

four || These London Fog sheets from Sams club are EVERYTHING! I am obsessed...except I have to take these back today because they don't match our new bedroom color. :( But they are soo soft, fashionable, and affordable! We have a California King size bed and it is so hard to find sheets that don't cost and arm and a leg.  This is the whole set and only cost $24.98! Hurry and go get you some because they are getting slim on the selections! 

five || The Mick is a new show we started watching that is HILARIOUS! We recently decided to cut the cords with spectrum and become streamers. I was nervous at first bc we are kind of TV junkies. But so far it is working out great and saving us $100 a month! We went with a roku and are using Hulu tv so we still get to watch live TV and Alan gets to watch all the games on all the sports channels. Apparently Youtube TV will be on more platforms like Roku soon so we might switch to that eventually. But if you haven't heard of Mick--check it out! 

I only have time for 5 faves today---Ben is up from his nap and I have to go run some errands...well I actually really don't have to go anywhere, but I just want to go take a spin in my new whip. I need to get these windows tinted asap though...since I am such a gangsta mom! :) Happy Weekend Everyone! 

<3 and good vibes, MB 

My Last Five Years

My official launch & First blog post--ahhhhhhhhhh 

I have literally wanted to do this for so long but haven't done so because I have been so nervous about it all. Nervous about putting myself out there, nervous no one would even care to follow me, nervous I would fail (i know how can you fail at blogging) but I hate it when I go to a business web page or a personal bloggers site and it hasn't been updated in years. Its a turn off for me. I love to write and have no problem "telling it like it is" so I am looking forward to using this space as a creative outlet for me to express myself and voice my opinion on things that matter to me.  I plan on focusing my blog around the REAL MB. What you see is what you get. I hope that candidmb will be a place that I can grow, network, learn, & inspire. 

I decided to kick off my #bloglife with a timeline of the past 5 years of my life

• May 4, 2013 Alan proposed to me at the KY derby 139 on TV. 

• October 21, 2013-My Brother, Matt was diagnosed with ALS-which is a group of rare neurological diseases that mainly involve the nerve cells responsible for controlling voluntary muscle movement. Voluntary muscles produce movements like chewing, walking, and talking. The disease is progressive, meaning the symptoms get worse over time. Currently, there is no cure for ALS and no effective treatment to halt, or reverse, the progression of the disease.
• August 30,2014- Alan and I got married at Elk Creek winery in Owenton KY
• January 19th, 2015-My Dad, Mike was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer 
• July 14th,2015-Alan and I found out we were pregnant 
• March 23,2016 Ben was born but earlier that day my parents were at the hospital with Matt while he got a feeding tube. 
• May 20,2016-Matt passed away
• December 17,2016-My Aunt Nancy passed away suddenly
• July 13,2017-My first love, My Dad passed away on his birthday.

To say the least, the last five years of my life have been pretty eventful. I have been on a constant emotional roller coaster. From giving birth and entering the best club in world: motherhood. Becoming a mom to little Benjamin has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life. It can be very challenging and stressful at times but for the most part Ben has been a saving grace for our family. He came at a time when I needed him the most.  From watching my strong big brother lose his ability to pick up his child, hold a fork and feed himself, drive a car, walk and so much more was absolutely heartbreaking and by far the hardest thing I have ever had to witness in my life. To watching my dad fight cancer and endure painful surgery and operations for years while still trying to remain a caregiver for his son was also depressing and devastating. Matt and my dad were both heroes in our family and inspirations to so many in the baseball community. They both put up a hard fight and never gave up and still had their Baldwin sense of humor until their last days. I am forever grateful for all of the loving memories that I will cherish forever. However, since my dad passed away our lives were totally turned upside down. We have had to suffer through so much difficult times in such a short period of time.  Apparently it's a common phenomena that when the head of a family member passes the family unravels...well that sort of, kind of happened to us. Not to my immediate family (or whats left of us) anyway, but it's been extremely upsetting and confusing and most of all lonely feeling. (if you really love someone---do not turn your back on them when they need you the most--that goes for friends and family) However, my 2018 mantra is: choose the people who choose you. I have always been a people pleaser my entire life.  I put other peoples feelings and needs before my own causing me to be unhappy and stressed out a lot.  I am working on saying "no" (in a nice way) more often, putting myself first and showing up and being present for the people who accept me and love me for me.  I do not need the approval or acceptance of anyone else. I am on a mission to do what makes my heart happy.

Most importantly I am on a mission to be the best me I can be. It is just so hard when your mental health is not at it's best. I have always suffered from anxiety and depression but mainly my issues stem from hormones and severe PMS.  But when it hits me---it can really get me down--saying and doing things I shouldn't! It's so hard to see it when you're stuck in a dark tunnel and you have feelings of hopelessness, but you have to trust that things won't be like this forever. Something better is coming. It might be true that you have a long way to go before you get to where you need or want to be, but it's also really important to recognize how far you've already come.  Just because you have set backs and unexpected obstacles does not mean you are not getting closer to where you want to be.  You are enough and you are amazing. Just keep going!! :) OK I think that is all for today folks. Thank you so much for stopping by. Stay tuned for more exciting blog posts. <3 & good vibes, MB